you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
