he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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