GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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