Plan B is the new Plan A
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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