I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
