i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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