The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Do you remember whose house we're in?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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