you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
