u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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