But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Randomize
