On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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