so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
