please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
