So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
