Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
