His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
