I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
