This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
