There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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