I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
