And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
