Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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