so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
