that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
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The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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