It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You can't motorboat a personality
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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