How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
