Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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