ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
