Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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