i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
