I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize