I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
