We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
is that a dick in a sweater?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
