I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
