"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
vagina is talking i cant
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
