Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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