Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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