:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
