shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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