i just wanna soil my oats bro
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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