i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
