in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
