dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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