She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
