I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
