# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
