what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
