Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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