You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
