I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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