there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
it glows. i had to have it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
