in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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