If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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