Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
