remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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