I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
