You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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