'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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